I sometimes think it's strange that figuring out balance for myself is about balance. And I often think of things that my various therapists have told me as I move through a day, make decisions, choices. Think about what I've learned even as I work to make progress.
I had three events over the last week which was a bit unusual for me. A condolence call, a Shabbat service, and a Sunday School meeting. There were also two events that I made the decision not to do - the Open House at my daughters' high school, and a concert at Allstate Arena.
The condolence call wasn't planned a great deal ahead of time, but when I found out that a friends' father had died rather suddenly, Ron wanted to go, and wanted me to come. The house was in the neighborhood and I didn't have anything on the schedule that day, so I said OK. I never know when I do something new what challenges I'll have to deal with. In this case, I didn't think about the fact that I'd need to walk from the car to the house, and then back again when we were done. It's harder for me to feel grounded in the dark. I touched Ron's arm lightly on the way there and back. I didn't want to hold on too tightly, because really leaning would have felt strange, but I wanted his presence to help me have a sense of my surroundings. 
Once inside, the house was noisy. People were milling everywhere, and I only knew our friend and her immediate family. We eventually found her, and she was very gracious. She sat with us and another couple whom she introduced. I paid some attention to the conversation, but the noise level made it difficult to concentrate, and I had a hard time feeling comfortable and stable on the squishy cushions of the couch. Ron had agreed to leave when I was ready, and when our friend got interrupted and got up to talk to someone else, I said I wanted to leave. When he went over to say goodbye, she came over and made a point of saying goodbye and saying that she knew this situation was difficult for me, and that she really appreciated that I made the effort. That made me feel good, and made the effort feel very worthwhile.
Noise is always something I have to think about, as well as visual issues. Going to the Open House the following evening was not happening. Besides the noise, quantity of info to process, and general busy-ness of the evening, going out two evenings in a row isn't a good idea. 
I wanted to go to the Shabbat service to remind myself of how it felt to be in the sanctuary of the North Shore Unitarian Church where we have our High Holidays services. But a Shabbat service wouldn't be nearly as noisy - less people - and the music would feel different because there was only one voice to listen to instead of the choir. I always get something out of listening to the service and our rabbi - belonging to Kol Hadash is very meaningful for me. The highlight of this evenings' service for me was listening to the soloist, Ellen Apley, sing "Imagine" acapela. As much as I love the choir, especially in the sanctuary, the fullness of the sound is a challenge. Afterward, I was tired, so I opted not to talk to anyone. I simply sat and let myself get reorganized when the service was over, watching people until my husband was ready to leave. 
The Sunday School meeting was more familiar - I've been on this committee for years, and had chosen to stay on even though both our daughters are now aides, no longer students. But still, I hadn't attended a meeting all summer, so I found myself needing to try NOT to pay attention at times, and look without much focus at the floor. I was glad I could attend a full meeting, plus do some socializing before and after the meeting. Having a way to feel involved feels really good. I'm glad to still be on the committee, to have that involvement - I'm able now when I attend to process enough that I can have input rather than just being there, and that feels very good. However, the morning was somewhat draining, and when I got home, I simply sat down and did some breathing and let myself, my sensory system, my vestibular system, just everything relax and reorganize.
Going to the Ed Sheeran Concert at Allstate was never on my schedule. The lights, the noise of many, many people, the amplified music, the late hour - all combines for an event that is beyond my grasp. Still, I know that getting through a week of several outings would not have been possible earlier in my recovery. So yesterday evening, I watched a movie (a DVD on a not-large-screen TV). I always try to focus on what I can do in my present, and the progress I make. That includes being able to write about, share my experiences - something that both from a mental processing and visual standpoint was not previously within my grasp.