November 3, 2019 - My new normal

I'm special... no really, I am... I'm part of the roughly 1% of the population that has migraine associated vertigo... when I ...

Archive for April 2019

April 27th, 2019 Recognizing progress

Looking back at my rehab, I can't help thinking how little I knew what to expect, & how much I've learned... which makes me wonder what lies ahead... I have so much more in my "tool kit" than I did even 2 yrs ago...

I also can't help thinking that as much as has been learned - not just by me, but the people I'm fortunate enough to work with - there's still so much to discover.

I know that everyone who's part of my medical team works hard to keep up with neurological research, & that can directly benefit me - I've been told "when I read/watched, etc. this thing, I thought of you..." - that's cool - their dedication means a lot to me.

I still get caught up in very unhelpful automatic thoughts, but more often I'm able to recognize this, and gain clarity.  That's progress.

I'm looking forward  - yes, actually looking forward - later this week, to getting my reading/near glasses with the prisms as part of the new prescription.  Progress again.

Life doesn't always go as planned, & it's how I/you respond that matters... as I start to believe in myself more, have more confidence, I'm thinking less about what happened, & more about simply trying to move forward... Progress.

The only thing I know for SURE - & yes, I've said this before, but it's a simple truth that's worth repeating - is right now.... I'm trying really hard to be in the moment, especially if it's a good one. A step toward progress...

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April 21st, 2019 Wow, what a week!

Wow, what a week! I was out 6 days in a row, including Passover Seders on Fri. & Sat., AND I did an additional outing in the afternoon on Sat.!

I still think doing an outing on the same day as vision therapy or Feldenkrais is too much right now, but I'm letting myself think about things - like my 40th high school (yup, 40th) reunion in June - that I never would have before.

Always reminding myself of what I have control over, and what I don't, what I am responsible for, and what I'm not... and remembering to pay attention to the little things that really aren't little -

watching a video on YouTube I wouldn't have before

washing not one but two pots

sometimes holding cosmos leash, even when Ron is on a walk with me

taking taxis more, which means sometimes taking unfamiliar routes to familiar destinations

successfully revisiting syntonics in VT

probably transitioning to an Rx with prisms in my readers

beginning to feel like PTSD isn't going to go away, but can become quieter

Doing the best I can - I get hung up on that word "best" -
best doesn't have to be awesome, amazing, or incredible... it's giving the best I have at that moment... if my best at the moment is great, then that's cool, but if not, that's OK too... I'm human.

I don't know what I'm going to do "when I grow up" - I'm trying to focus on now, AND on making as much progress as possible, now that I'm finally at a place where that can happen.

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April 15th, 2019 Learning to believe in myself

I'm learning -
to let go of what I can't control

that in the end, I'm responsible for myself - I want to treat others with kindness, & behave responsibly, but I'm not responsible for others... even my immediate family members ultimately can make their own choices

to, as best I can, give guidance or assistance when requested

where my efforts make a difference, for myself, & for others

to do the best I can in the moment

to take things 1 day at a time... I don't know what's going to happen... none of us does

that I'm strong - I can survive hard things, & learn from them... I've DONE this

that I want to make as much progress as I possibly can, to be as independent as possible, & yes, as cliche as it sounds, to live the best life I can

that I've come a long way, & I've still got a ways to go... hard work lies ahead

that I'm fortunate to have the opportunities I do, & it's up to me to make the most of them... & I intend to

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April 11th, 2019 refocusing... prisms in my near future

I'm trying to re-focus on myself, & this sign at vision therapy caught my eye -

I don't need to do anymore color fields assessment – Dr. Margolis got what he needed – and though it's clear that my span when I am near focus needs to expand, Ann pointed out that 1) if I had done this early in my treatment I would have been even tighter, and 2) I couldn't have done earlier.  So I have work to do, but I have made progress.

We also finally talked about putting prisms into my near glasses… Dr. Margolis will be back in next week, and Ann wants him to check one more time regarding what the prescription will be.  So hopefully by the beginning of May, I will be adjusting to prisms of my near glasses.

We finished up by doing some syntonics.

These lovely tulips came home with Ron from his township meeting on Tuesday evening - now they're open :-)

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