September 9, 2021 - One decade... be present.

It’s been a decade since I got sick. I didn’t know then, that night, that my life was dramatically changed. I’ve done therapies, and they’ve...

June 4th 2016 About cognitive processing, and mental energy...

Why is cognitive processing difficult when you have a vestibular or vision disorder, or a combo of the two?  The short answer is that I (or anyone with one or both of these disorders) am not doing certain things as automatically as I should be.   Neural fatigue is a factor in  large part because I'm using up more energy to do some things than I should be. 

There's a ton of info that your brain processes all the time.  Some of it you're aware of: thinking about a problem, trying to explain something to someone, listening to and understanding directions.   But there's processing that happens that many people are not aware of:  Where am I in space?  How far is it from here (where I'm standing) to there?  What image do I need to have in my mind when I think about this or that? 

The "where am I in space?" is a big question that actually involves a lot of pieces: Am I sitting or standing? Am I moving a part of my body? Is there hand/eye coordination involved? Am I moving my eyes independently of my head, or is my head moving as well?  If my head is moving, is it moving from side to side, or up and down?  Is my eye gaze switching from close up to far away and then back again?

I don't exactly think consciously about all of these things, all the time.  However, I do think about at least some of these things, and that takes energy.  Because I'm using more energy to process various more basic info, I have less energy sometimes for other more complex processing.  Or I get tired more quickly, because I'm using up my energy more quickly, in order to process it all.  When I have a conversation with someone, part of my brain is, for example, figuring out spatial stuff. 

In terms of my basement project this summer, I'm using mental energy to figure out a lot of new stuff; how to pack things away, where to put things, what I need to bring to the hotel to make it workable for me, to name a few.  I always have things to think about, but there's more right now than is typical, and all the pieces really add up.  I have to work harder with all of this new info.

A major goal with the brain retraining therapies I do is for the processing of all this info to become more automatic, more the way it used to be for me before I got sick.  There has been improvement since I began, but I've definitely still got work to do.  So that when I'm having, as I mentioned, a conversation with someone, all I have to do is concentrate on the conversation, and nothing else.  Or thinking about a big new project doesn't feel quite as overwhelming.

The other goal of therapy, as I see it, is for my brain to do various tasks automatically without so much effort.  This would mean that taking a walk, being in new surroundings (not just a hotel, but any social setting I'm not familiar with), or any number of multitasking activities could be done more easily.  My brain wouldn't have to put so much effort into all the pieces.  This would mean less neural fatigue.  I wouldn't feel like processing more info was more effort than I could muster.


Writing this down felt like a challenging mental exercise, but I felt it was a good opportunity to try to explain a little bit about the cognitive processing issue.  It's a big deal for anyone with the kinds of invisible disorders I have, and I'm pretty sure it's hard for people to understand.  And what's perhaps MOST important is to believe anyone who is dealing with these issues, that they are not being lazy, or stupid.  We all are working harder than we should have to, whether it's obvious to the casual observer, or not.  A little understanding and empathy can go a long way.

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14 Responses to June 4th 2016 About cognitive processing, and mental energy...

  1. You're welcome Margaret - thanks for reading and commenting!

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  2. Thank you, Tamar, for taking the time and putting forth the effort to explain some of our "invisible" challenges. It will help to educate the "regular folks" about them. I appreciate your blog.

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    1. You're welcome Marise... and thank YOU for reading and commenting!

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  3. Great Read! Since the Stroke 2/18/16 took some executive Cognitive functions from me, thank god some has healed on it own. I had a long delay in responses, (about 30 seconds and longer)

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  4. Wow that's me exactly too! I couldn't explain how I felt. Everything is more tiring and going to places I've not been to before is exhausting! Thank you for sharing.

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  5. It has taken me four years to realize that I don't know where I am in space. Thank you for all of your insightful writing.

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  6. Very often, I feel frantic if I don't have something to hold onto for support. A line, an open parking lot, or just trying to stand still without falling. Such a lousy way to function. I, like you, need to ask myself a lot of questions or figure out each step before I even sit up. My diagnosis is cervicogenic dizziness.

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  7. Thank you for this well written piece of work. It can be all too easy to forget the mechanics, by that I mean 'why' vestibular or vision disorders cause tiredness/exhaustion that can lead to so many other factors being involved, such as headache, irritation and so on.

    Talking about this stuff, really does help.

    Have a good day xx

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  9. Thank you Tamar you have put this very well. How do you explain to others that the concentrating on concentrating really wears you out and that you have to manage fatigue much more than you have ever needed to. Many previously automatic, unconcious acts suddenly become very concious acts that you have to plan out in small steps

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  10. This explains my condition so well. It's so hard to describe it someone. As it comes and goes there are good days bad days and ok days. It's the unpredictability that upsets me so much. I can't commit or plan anything in advance. Thank you. I hope this helps my friends and family understand me a bit more. If they take the time to read it. As you say.... it's an invisible disability. .. snap out of it! I WISH.

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  11. After reading this, I felt relieved that someone actually expressed many issues that I have lived with and covered up with the ol' "I'm fine" forever. Thank you!

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