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Going to stores is something I've done very little since
I got sick. I'm fortunate that Ron can
take care of errands, as long as I prepare lists so that he knows what to
purchase. Sometimes my daughters Leena
and Cara run an errand together. Stores are
very difficult for me; they're noisy, busy, and often visually challenging. Bed Bath and Beyond - BBB - is a particularly
challenging store; like many stores, there's music playing and LOTS of
merchandise on display, but in addition, the aisles are difficult to
navigate. So I haven't been to BBB since
I got sick, but I wanted to help my older daughter Leena to prepare for college,
and BBB has some good products, and especially with coupons, the prices are
decent. So I went with Leena and Cara to
BBB.
When I first walked in the door, I was instantly hit by
the sensory overload - music in the air, people, and STUFF everywhere! My first thought was "Oh my goodness, what
was I thinking?!" But I didn't want
to instantly throw in the towel, so I navigated past people and carts in the
entrance area, and turned around to make sure Leena and Cara had followed. BBB stacks merchandise practically to the
ceiling, so it goes a good 15 feet up.
And although there is a center aisle that seems to more or less loop around
the entire store, there are islands of merchandise in the middle of this center
aisle in most sections.
Thankfully they hadn't done a re-organization since I'd
last shopped there, and I figured that even if they had, if we just kept
walking, we'd basically walk into the bedding section. On the way, there was all kinds of kitchen
stuff; glass ware, pots, and various other household items - I was feeling
overwhelmed - total visual overload. Then
I remembered when I'd gone to our local Fine Arts Festival, and stopped trying
to take EVERYTHING in, but rather had focused on my more immediate
surroundings. So I applied the same
concept in the store - focusing on merchandise very nearby. Rather than looking at all the merchandise
going up the walls, I actually made a point not to, and focused on what was
right around me. This was enough visual
challenge for me. I also reminded myself
that just like the Mitzvah Brunch I'd attended, I needed to sometimes expose
myself to sound, and figure out how to put it in the background. This was, in a way, another way to prepare
for going to Ravinia.
Salespeople did not seem to be around the way I
remembered from years back - I don't know if that's typical now at BBB or
not. We waited for a salesman to finish
with a customer, and then asked about sheets to fit a college dorm bed. He then steered us to a section where they
specifically sold those items, and told me about their pack and hold service. We found out at the end that, although he was
very nice, he didn't inform us correctly about how the whole process worked. This would have been helpful, because apparently
we could have scanned our items as we went, and thus avoided pushing an
overflowing shopping cart around. I have
no idea if he was new, or badly trained by the store.
At one point, while Leena was making some choices with
Cara's help, I really wanted to sit down, but that was not an option, so I
opted to pace around a bit. Sometimes
moving is easier than standing still.
This is probably why people pace when talking on the phone; we are meant
for movement, movement makes us more functional. I was very aware that I was getting tired,
and my ability to process all the sensory input was diminishing, but I wanted
to complete the shopping. The salesman
produced a form that needed to be filled out for the pack and hold, and I
simply told him I couldn't do it, and asked him to please fill it out for me. I made an on-the-spot decision not to give an
explanation; I didn't think it was necessary, and felt an explanation would
take more energy than it was worth.
Fortunately, he was fine with helping me, so I still had to answer the
questions, but didn't have to ask Leena or Cara to actually fill in the form.
Once we were done, we had to wait some more before he
gave us a print out of our items. There
was a lawn chair on display at the front, near the Customer Service counter,
and I sat down. I knew it wasn't
intended for sitting and waiting, but it was, in fact, a chair, so I decided to
use it. By the time we left, I was very
ready to go, and had mixed feelings. It's
always difficult to be reminded of when I could do something more easily, and
this experience was no exception. Granted
I've never enjoyed shopping, and BBB is not an easy store to deal with, but it
used to be easier for me. I was,
however, proud of myself that I'd done it.
I know that last summer I probably wouldn't have even attempted going to
BBB. I hadn't walked out upon walking
INTO the store, nor had I quit part of the way through. Once we got home, although I certainly needed
my rest that day, I could say that the trip was a success.
That is exactly how I feel and you explained it so well. I fully understand. I get so tired after such an adventure, too. For years I never understood what was happening but I do now. It took years to get a diagnosis. I almost want to cry when I find someone who really understands what this is like.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad this spoke to you... FYI - I've since learned that visualizing an experience ahead of time can help...
DeleteThank you so much.
ReplyDeleteMy Vestibular Disorder became an issue when I began regularly accompanying a group of friends to Walmart. I truly believed it aggravated it. Thank you for the confirmation.
you're welcome!
DeleteTamar..thank you so much for detailing your experience in BBB. I started "suffering" from my vestibular issues in November 2000. It was horrible when I awoke one morning to the room spinning, unable to walk and the vomiting. I "recovered" from that experience after about 10 days or so thinking it was a one time incident. Oh..how wrong I was!! About a year or so later I again had a very similar episode and "recovered" from that as well. I went to my GP and he just said it could possible be BPPV and sent me home with Valium and Meclazine, and phenergan. But the episodes kept happening. Sometimes two or three times a year at different times. In 2005, I visited a Neurotologist at our state university hospital. They did an MRI, ENG and other test but found nothing substantive nor gave me a diagnosis. He told me that what I was experiencing would probably continue for my lifetime...and sent me home with the same prescriptions as my GP. The episodes continued. In 2011, I went to see a noted Neurotologist at one of the national Hearing and Balance Centers. Once again they ran a battery of tests and came back with no diagnosis. He told me that when one hits to "...just go to bed and rest." I didn't settle for that answer. I did much internet research and came across an article with cases similar to mine. The doctor(s) referenced in the article prescribed their patients with a very low does of Klonopin and 800mg Acyclovir taken daily. I started this in July 2013 and I must say that I still have episodes of imbalance and unsteadiness, but not as often nor severe as in the past. The doctor(s) in the article suspect there is a latent HZ virus on the vestibular nerve that reactivates. In my case I truly believe that. When I was 34 I had mono and at 36 I had a full blown case of Chicken Pox.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thanks for sharing your story and I wish you the best in returning to better health.
You're welcome and thank you for sharing your story... if you'd like to read more about what happened to me, feel free to look at my About Me, When my challenges really began, and More of my story... of course you're welcome to read any of my articles - such as the ones in which I talk about my therapies... my problems aren't related to illness... I'm glad you're doing better, and thanks for the good wishes....
Deletethat is the hardest one. I used to love shopping could easily spend several hours. Ikea was a good day out. noises and crowds are something that I cant handle at all anymore. My husband does most of the grocery shopping these days. I go with him once a fortnight to do a big shop and thats it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry... I hope there are other things you can still enjoy....
ReplyDelete