So I had a session with Joyce on Fri., and tomorrow is Mon. and I don't have a session. Feels weird. I'm reminding myself of the distance I've travelled since I started with her 2 years ago last May. I know my life isn't going to be static over the next three weeks so I'll have to figure some things out, using the "virtual Joyce" I have on a USB. There are I think 3 sessions I did with her that she recorded.
It's harder for me to do Feldenkrais on my own, harder to process and do, as opposed to having her help me to do. So the fact that I was able to do some exercises following her instructions that she recorded is progress in itself. I feel unsure of what to use - that's sort of the point to me of working WITH someone. There's a couple exercises I'm sure I'll use. I figure I'll do my best, but sometimes thinking of being on my own fills me with anxiety.
I got a new chair yesterday to use at my computer, and I know it's better for me, but it's also something to get used to. I put a towel under the wheels so it feels more solid. We're finally going to have to become a two car family this year. This reminds me that in October it'll have been three years since I've driven. I want to drive again, but driving feels like climbing a mountain. When I'm ready, I'll need to break it down into baby steps. We had to talk as a family about the actual purchase process, because I can't spend hours at a dealer.
I'll have a chance to talk to Dr. Glad tomorrow and then he'll be gone as well. Joyce, Dr. Glad, and Ann (vision therapist - thankfully NOT going away) all say I can do it. I've gotten through stuff before. But the thing is, Joyce is the one who finally helped me start to regain my balance, and it's hard to understand what that's like if you haven't lived it. Getting my diet under control cleared my head - after a year of being in a migraine fog! But everything I do works together. I know Joyce will be back, but right now three weeks feels like a long time. 
Makes me think about the whole stigma thing. Talking about this stuff, sharing this stuff is so others have more understanding, hopefully raise awareness a little bit. Not for people to feel sorry for me. I DO think it's important for people to understand that there are people who struggle with all kinds of things others can't see. These people, myself included, aren't at fault, or bad people. Personally, I want to improve as much as I can, but clearly it's a slow process and in the meantime understanding from others that really simple stuff can be a big deal matters. I was grateful that Joyce didn't talk about all the cool stuff she's gonna do while she's gone. I'll just have to get up each day, and do what I need to do, hopefully finding things - even if they're little - to enjoy each day.