Whenever I want to make progress, I think about the steps I need to take...in this case to be able to play sheet music again.  I'll never give up the freeform playing - and playing something from memory that just floats into my head is wonderful...a stanza from Ave Maria, a verse from You Raise Me Up, a Kol Hadash song like Where is my Light?, or Oh Be Joyful...all of this is stuff that I never thought I could do and to tap into it feels good, but I want to play what is on the page...so the first step is looking at music with my glasses on.   

It's like getting reacquainted with another language, but one that is very familiar so when I look at the notes - even in my imagination - the music starts to come to life...it kind of wakes up a part of my brain.  The next step will be playing a few notes with my glasses on.   

It's very different to make music and think about what's on the page....very different concentration...and that's when I don't want to fall back into old bad habits - some conscious, some not....as simple as how hard I press the keys for notes on my flute when I'm looking at a particular passage - we make our bodies work harder than we need to...or holding very still in concentration instead of allowing freedom of movement... making music is I suspect sometimes a bit like dancing - movement is much better for making music than holding still...my air moves more freely, and the notes speak so much better...the tone becomes rich and full and round, and fills me and the air around me...