Challenging myself, and a college adventure
Leena and Ron and I went to Lake Forest College on the 24th - the first college we've visited with her. Seemed like an obvious thing to do since it's close by. It was the first time in probably about 20 years I'd been on my alma mater campus.
This was a nostalgic and physically challenging adventure for me. For starters, physically, this was the most walking I've done since I got sick 2 1/2 - nearly 3 years ago. I do take daily walks, but not all over a college campus. I kept telling myself "breathe, you can do this." After walking for a while, I felt like I was in flow a bit, but it was a lot of work. I had a water bottle with me because hydration is really important, and I wore my baseball style hat so that a) if it got sunny I'd be OK, and b) the visor puts a visual boundary on the world for me.
The campus felt very familiar and yet totally not. I kept going back in my mind to what I was like in college and what the world was like. Leena commented at the end of the tour that I didn't feel like I was missing out when I attended college there, because there was no internet. Computers, yes, but internet no. The world was not interconnected the way it is now, and the campus has definitely worked to welcome that interconnectedness.
One particular treat for visitors is a private collection of Holograms that was donated to the college by the professor who created them. These are displayed in a hallway with lights. Everyone seemed fascinated by them. The only one I looked at was the one of Mr. and Mrs. Hotchkiss - Hotchkiss was a president of the college for a long time, including when I was there. Otherwise, I decided on the spot that though wonderful, I wouldn't add this visual challenge to my day so I more or less looked at the floor.
The sad thing I thought about when in the dormitory was the need for security. The student who gave us the tour showed us and talked a bit about safety on campus. What the college does is reassuring, but I couldn't help thinking about the world pre-9/11 and school campus shootings. I was probably a bit naive as a college student regarding the dangers of the world "out there", but I'm not naive now, and it's nice to think my daughter could live somewhere - a college campus - where people can trust each other and feel safe.
Overall, I think my college experience was a good one, but it was strange to see it now with my high school graduate daughter. It was good though, better than doing a reunion - for me anyway. I don't have ties to a lot of people from LFC like I do with people from my grade school/high school days, so walking around the campus which ended up getting me caught up, and then talking to the assistant director of admissions, Rene Gomez made sense.
The campus itself is changed and yet not. The student union is redone - again - in parts. So is the library. I was impressed with what I saw - the focus on the needs of the students, and also the focus on the best way to continue making progress and growing with the changing world.
Again, physically, having taken in information on the tour, and then sitting and listening to Mr. Gomez - a very nice, laid back presentation/discussion - was a lot of info to process. Having a vestibular condition means that it can be challenging to process a lot of sensory info - and paying attention to someone after the minimal break of having my snack was definitely demanding.
Mr. Gomez said of the college that "it's sortof quaint on the outside, but new on the inside," and I think that's accurate. Buildings are refurbished to meet new needs but keep a certain comfortable secure feel. I liked that. I think I felt it back when I was there as a student.
There's one building in particular that we called the castle, and now is called Hogwarts (no Harry Potter in my day). It's very unusual on the outside - really does look like a small, dark brown stone castle, but the inside is new, contemporary and functional. I think it's a good blend of old and new. I realized in a very concrete way that you have to welcome and grow with the changing world - if the campus was exactly how it was 31 years ago when I was there, that would be wrong. That would have been standing still while the world around it kept moving, changing.
On a personal level, I think I feel the same way. I have to keep moving, working with changes due to health issues. The reason for me to challenge myself is 1), to see what my boundaries are, what I can and can't do 2) be able to do something for which the benefit makes some cost worth it (feeling functional albeit tired afterwards), and 3) to expose myself to some additional sensory stimulation. If I never do that, I can't make progress. That's really a key part of the therapies I do. Sometimes figuring out the balance of challenging myself is a challenge itself.
Leena had a good experience for her first tour of a college, and I got a chance to visit my past, and kind of see the future at the same time. I'm proud of myself that I did this adventure.
