today my thoughts are not just about music.  I've been thinking a lot about breathing lately, which may sound funny because a lot of people probably don't.  But I have been thinking about it – when I play my music but also when I'm just sitting quietly which is what I do now to start my day after the girls go off to school.  I think about it when I'm speaking to my computer, and I think about it if I feel tension spreading through me, and I definitely think about it when I play my flute – I think about whether or not I'm filling my lungs and where the breathing started from.  I think about what's moving inside of me.  I remember a few months ago my friend Patrick was impressed and surprised that I start my day every day with music but to me it just seems so natural.  I like to do it when I'm fresh but I also just feel like making music after I breathe is the best way I can start my day.  I've also been thinking a lot about hope – for a variety of reasons.  People talk about hope but what does hope really mean?  I think at least in terms of medical situations that means that with the right help and enough time and enough effort a person – or me – can get better.  Getting better doesn't mean being exactly the way I used to be but it does mean good enough it means I can achieve enough of what's on my wish list to be in a good place.  It doesn't mean perfection because better doesn't mean perfection.  But it does mean hope it does mean really believing that getting better can happen.  And breathing and making music helps me to feel that way.