I recently finished listening to playing for pizza which is about a former NFL player who goes to Parma, Italy to play with the Parma Panthers.  The book focuses not just on a team that plays football for the love of the game – none of the Italians are paid – but also on his experience in Italy.  It made me think a lot about how being driven by large sums of money can mess people up. 
Being part of a band or orchestra is not identical to a football team, but listening to the book I thought about whether I would ever go back to being part of a large group.  I'm leaning heavily towards no.  It was not quite a year ago that I started playing my flute again, and I thought about what it's like when you play with a large group.  Even if there's no money involved, the mindset, the approach towards the music is all about the product.  I do think that small groups are different – I think the musicians are more mindful, listening to each other, paying attention to their own bodies, and the rhythm of the rehearsal is very different.  I could easily see myself playing with one or handful of other musicians.   
But being squished into a room with 20 or more musicians, with old music stands (because there's never money in the rented rehearsal space – typically a school – for new equipment), and questionable acoustics especially if you're not really playing in the music room, is not incredibly appealing.  Having a wonderful time with other like-minded musicians – similar to the group I used to play with – Lakeside flutes – or just getting together with other musicians where making music and what that really means is much more appealing money is important, but people should be gathering for the love of the game, for the art, not just for the end product. 
I'm not ready to play with other musicians yet, but when I am, even if I perform again, I will play with others for the joy of sharing the gift of music.