I did some new things in vision
therapy today, which meant my Anxiety was triggered. After therapy, I remembered
that in the beginning I couldn't do Feldenkrais or VT at home, & then
eventually, I could.
I also remembered my home therapy
kind of skidded to a halt (I wrote a post on 11/16/18 Anxiety & Depression
- Recognition & progress).
I didn't talk about home therapy in
that piece... I've been telling myself that integrating skills from therapy
into activities is what matters, but I have a hunch doing home therapy - doing a
specific thing with intention - also matters.
Christina says flooding myself isn't
the way to go... but there's a big difference between flooding, & skidding
to a halt... Joyce gave me a routine in May of 2017, when I had my big setback,
to help my sensory system regroup - part of the Masgutova method she's trained
in - which I still do, & I've made progress with it.
So I need to talk to Ann & Joyce
about little ways to bring back home therapy... thinking this immediately
triggers Anxiety... UGH... I hate how hard this is - there's so many triggers -
but I have to do this... the only way to know what I can handle outside of
sessions - & what will help me - is by trying.
And I have to admit, there's this
little voice struggling to be heard inside my head, saying "damn it, you
can do it!"
