https://visiblepersoninvisibleproblem.blogspot.com/2018/10/october-24th-2018-my-timeline-of.html

October 24th, 2018 My timeline of progress

I decided to do a timeline - an interesting cognitive exercise, as well as visual - Early Sept., 2011 - wake up to terrible VERTIGO ...

January 8th, 2019 Past "hijack/Anxiety" mode, to the living, thinking human...




Being frustrated, sad, angry about what happened to me is not just OK, it makes sense... but putting down roots in anger, etc. isn't healthy.

So, I did this sign - a BIG sign, with LOTS of colors, because I don't really want to say "OK, this is enough..." it's tempting, because trying is hard, scary.  

The PTSD Anxiety's not going to disappear, but Christina gave this analogy -
my automatic response/thought now is Anxiety hijacking my brain - "oh my God, something bad's gonna happen!" just like when you call a big company &  get the automated system.

My goal is to respond "OK, yeah, there's Anxiety again, but I'm gonna keep going," get past "hijack" mode, past the automated response, to talk to the live human - to think, reframe my response.

I take everything I know about my vision & vestibular disorders, & PTSD Anxiety, & say "OK, what's something within my reach to try?"... I remind myself that when I'm actually in a situation that requires accommodation, I generally figure it out - do the best I can.

It takes time to make anything of real value, of importance, to learn how to do something really well... I got sick 7+ yrs ago, but counting ALL my diagnoses, & everything I need in order to make progress, I've only been at this for a year... & I've only been doing exposure as part of my CBT work with Christina for about 6 months... so baby steps... keep going... keep trying.


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