My mom asked a basic Q - why is my
vision therapy taking so long? I decided
my answer was worth sharing, so here it is -
MAV - My vestibular migraine
complicates my situation - Dr. Margolis was upfront about that right from the
beginning.
Sensitivity - I think I rate
pretty high on the sensitivity scale - this has, for example, been an issue for
me re using prism glasses (fairly commonly used)... I've thus far not been able
to do more than a short bit in VT of a low level prism, but this is certainly
better than nothing, & something that does get re-visited periodically.
Neurological rehab is never easy,
even without Anxiety.
I don't want ANYONE to think the work of facing Anxiety's easy - words are just words, & don't always adequately show the
picture - the sign that I did for this
piece is kind of how I feel about anxiety. The word "words" is the automatic
thoughts that bombard me when my PTSD Anxiety's triggered.
PTSD Anxiety - it took a long time for me to figure out about, &
be able to face dealing with my Anxiety - I say it with a capital "A"
because it's not "garden variety, everybody gets this" anxiety. This
is "I need meds, & the help of a professional to deal with this"
Anxiety, & it's fucking hard work!
The meds make it possible, but it's STILL really, really hard.
Avoidance - avoidance was a thing. I still fight avoidance. I
don't like how I feel when my Anxiety's triggered, & Christina has pointed
out that it's important not to flood myself - the goal is success, which comes
gradually, over time. My psychiatrist,
Dr. Mirsky, always says to me that I'm dealing with my Anxiety - the hard way (I think he means gradual
exposure, etc.), because that's the way that works.
My Anxiety doesn't even want me to
claim the progress I've made - it really messes with my mind - but I AM making
progress, now that I AM dealing with my PTSD Anxiety.
