My Anxiety's just as real as my
vision & vestibular disorders, & just as invisible.
here's my latest sign -
I had vision therapy today... Ann
& I agreed that while 2017 was a lousy year, 2018 was much better, I'm
making progress, integrating all my therapies into my life... afterwards, I
thought about how my anxiety works - sometimes I don't FEEL really anxious, but
then I realize I'm going inward - the way Anxiety tricks my mind is so tricky -
stealthy - I'm still in the process of understanding.
So, going back to my goals of flexibility
& stamina - what are some ways to build these, & not feel like I'm
letting Anxiety win?
1) I've done 4 days of going out in
a row... could I try for 5?
2) could I go out the day after VT? This
is a definite anxiety trigger, but I'm tired of making choices based on Anxiety
- on what MAY happen
3) could I eventually go out more
than once in a day? I actually DO do that - I go someplace, & then walk
with Ron. Doing 2 outings plus the walk is BIG - but maybe something to work
for.
4) keep on building my activities at
home, what I do on a therapy day - remember that everything counts!
My anxiety's trying to get in my way
- thinking about what I can handle.
There's a balance between acknowledging my disabilities, & trying my best
to live a full life, & my Anxiety tells me to be very, very cautious. But
the only way for me to know for SURE is to try - not with a 10 on the Exposure Richter
scale, but still try.
The more I realize about how Anxiety
works, the better - I can have more awareness... talking with Joyce (Feldenkrais)
about goals is valid - reviewing what I'm doing at home, as well as with her, so
I can keep moving forward.
