September 9, 2021 - One decade... be present.

It’s been a decade since I got sick. I didn’t know then, that night, that my life was dramatically changed. I’ve done therapies, and they’ve...

November 10th, 2018 Acceptance, & living now


Giving space to my anger (written 9-24-18) is important, as is letting myself feel sadness (one of the pieces that addresses this written 1-14-18)... I've written a lot about trying - also very important - it leads to more self-confidence... but I feel like there's one more piece - acceptance... trying & acceptance are not mutually exclusive.

Acceptance, to me, is about being at peace with my situation... peace, to me, means saying
"yes, what happened to me sucks, I'd never have chosen it - I guess you could say it chose me - and right here, right now, is the life I'm putting together for myself... I don't know what the future holds - I'll do the best I can with it as it happens... but here's what I'm trying to create with the MAV (vestibular) & CI (vision disorder) that I have - much improved from when I was first diagnosed, but still there..."

I'm tired of getting so frustrated, so often... maybe if I say "yup, this (name a symptom, limitation) is because of my invisible disorders - neither of which are my fault - & I'm doing the best I can to live my life," frustration can become like anxiety - something I notice, but not something that seeps into my day, then sucks my energy.  My energy needs to be for other things - the trying, the living now.

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