My daughters are growing
up, and that's not something I want to prevent. It's the job of every parent to
help their children grow up. More and more, adults - whether parents or not -
have multiple careers over the course of their lives. If I'm going to be
honest, sometimes this is by choice, sometimes not so much.
My situation is in the
not so much group. I got sick eight years ago, and the life of music I'd had,
& was building up even more for myself, came to a halt very suddenly. My painful
reality is that I need to find a different path.
A path that interests
me, so I don't feel like I'm doing just to be doing - that feels lousy. I'm
scared of having time on my hands - that's when my PTSD Anxiety can take root,
it's when Depression sets in... it's just bad.
I also know I need to
keep reaching out to people to find new connections. I hate how hard it is. I
hate how hard this whole damn process is. I wish my own retraining, my
neurological rehab could be faster, easier, that the pieces had come together
for me earlier, etc. etc. - but I've got to remember that I DID put the pieces
together.
I'm very interested in
retraining of the brain, but I know I'm not going to embark on becoming a
neurologist. However, that doesn't mean I can't learn anything. I'm fascinated
with how color and prisms are used in treatment - in fact, in MY vision therapy
treatment.
I've got to keep my eyes
on how far I've come, that being able to contemplate finding a different path, a
new path is actually progress. It's so hard sometimes to see the progress, but
it's there.
I've also got to remind
myself in any way I can, that I'm not alone in having struggles. That's why I
believe that sharing personal stories matters; so we each know we're not alone.
We each have different stories - no one else is living MY exact story - and it's in the sharing that I feel less
alone, and I suspect others feel less alone as well.
