https://visiblepersoninvisibleproblem.blogspot.com/2018/10/october-24th-2018-my-timeline-of.html

October 24th, 2018 My timeline of progress

I decided to do a timeline - an interesting cognitive exercise, as well as visual - Early Sept., 2011 - wake up to terrible VERTIGO ...

June 20th, 2018 Me and my friend PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)...


What I'm realizing is that in order to deal with Anxiety/PTSD, I have to try... this means doing what feels like walking right into the center of a storm... a storm of ALL my symptoms... it's like saying "OK, Anxiety, come get me, give me your best shot..." because trying stuff is the way to find out what my real parameters are... does it work, or not?  Sounds so simple... but it's SO hard.

I don't believe I could do this on my own... I believe anyone trying to deal with some of the really tough anxiety disorders - OCD, PTSD, agoraphobia to name a few - on their own, won't work... I know *I* need my psychiatrist, CBT therapist, AND meds... Dr. Mirsky says the meds are like body armor... I feel like I need that.

I've realized how much ENERGY I put into being on high alert ALL THE TIME, and how distorted my thinking can get... but letting go is incredibly hard... I told Dr. Mirsky I wanted to be DONE already... he said "I know... but you've been dealing with this for years (meaning, since I got sick), so it's gonna take time..."

I want to own my progress, but I feel like if I ease up a bit on my HIGH ALERT, and try something, then SOMETHING bad is gonna happen... "hello Anxiety" - that's how it works - PTSD tries to keep you STUCK - no risk, no PTSD Anxiety... over time, the idea is to make all my vision and vestibular symptoms less loaded... more benign... Dr. Mirsky believes I can do this... so does Christina... he says "you do too, THAT'S why you're here... to get help..."   One. Little. Step. at. a. time.

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2 Responses to June 20th, 2018 Me and my friend PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)...

  1. Dear Tamar
    Keep going! Don't give up. It is so encouraging. when i fonally let go or forget myself i may overdo it. So what!! Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. It is because the situation cchanges consistently...
    We have to dare. I am with you!!!

    ReplyDelete

  2. thanks for commenting... I'm feeling more positive these days

    ReplyDelete

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