I told Christina that I didn't post
the really small stuff, and she asked "why not?".
ALL the small stuff's the building
blocks for slightly bigger stuff, etc.... I told her it feels like a tug of war
inside me sometimes - my PTSD Anxiety vs a healthier me that's emerging, and
she thought that was a great metaphor.... anyway, I'm going to try really hard
- working against my ingrained negative thinking born of my PTSD - to
come up with 3 good things each day...
There's actually more here - I'm
catching up, and surprised myself... a couple are mainly a vestibular or visual
challenge, most are a combo -
1) watched a music vid with some
moving lights
2) made a phone call after coming
home from CBT
3) tried on 2 blouses, decided to
donate, then put my top back on
4) sometimes I read a one line email
instead of listening to it
5) snipped 2 or 3 dead blooms off a
houseplant
6) talked to my daughter while she paces
back and forth
7) sat on a bed, put on my readers,
and looked inside a jewelry box to find 2 pairs of broken earrings (Ron and
Cara went to a jewelry store - they're now repaired)
8) crouched on the floor, and leaned
against a bed to talk to my daughter
9) Edited some of this ON my blog (not cut and pasted)
Coming up with this list made me
anxious, which I now understand is my PTSD Anxiety showing up, telling me to back
off, stay stuck, comfortable.
CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)
is more than positive thinking, but positive thinking IS a key element. I want
to retrain toward the positive, so I'm going to keep doing this. I feel like I'm in surprisingly foreign territory, but I
know I need to embrace my PTSD Anxiety, to move forward, improve the quality of my life.
