Sometimes I feel like
giving up on this whole rehab thing, saying "I've had enough!". I
absolutely do want to enjoy what I've achieved in the last 6 1/2 years. It's
really tricky to find a balance between wanting to make progress, and being
grateful for what I have.
In the middle of all of
this whole thought process, I remind myself that mistakes are part of the
process, that this isn't an either/or, black or white situation. Life isn't
like that, and rehab is no exception. AND that some things HAVE gone well.
Ann reminded me, when I
told her how hard working on this motion stuff is, of how hard working for
convergence was. We talked about being flexible with home therapy - some days I
will feel able to do more than other days.
And it really is about
baby steps. What does that look like in vision therapy?
It's about doing 5
cycles of the infinity walk - basically a large figure 8 - with the addition of
2 visual targets. That's the post-its with smiley faces on them. It's walking
past gray stripes taped to our hallway wall, and taking them down at night, so
I don't see them when I'm getting into the day, or at night when I'm tired.
The darker stripes are for a good day.
It's adding in 4 cycles
of moving my face from one side to the other while keeping my eyes fixed on a
target at my midline. Your midline is the middle of YOU - whether from
side-to-side or up-and-down. Eventually having stripes in the background.
Baby steps also looks
like self-compassion, and giving myself credit for every single positive, NOT
just focusing on the hard, challenging, "this didn't go how I wanted it
to.." stuff.
Baby steps... and find
something - small, medium OR big - to enjoy every single day along the way.
