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I've often been struck by the complexity of water;
beautiful, versatile, vital for existence, powerful, destructive and
dangerous. When we bought our house 22
years ago, we unknowingly bought a house with a seepage problem. We discovered this for the first time many
years ago. We hired a handyman to plug a
crack in the wall of our basement, and when he was doing the work, he told us
he was pretty sure the wall had been plugged (badly) before. Now we have a serious problem that requires a
major drain tile project. I had originally hoped to wait till next summer ('17)
to deal with it, but after the last rainfall it became clear that that isn't an
option; we don't want the problem to get any worse.
The reason I wanted to wait is because dealing with this
problem will challenge me significantly in a number of ways. I haven't stayed anywhere but our house since
I got sick - our house is my safe zone. My
body/brain knows our house, which makes it significantly easier to
function. Spatially, visually it's all
familiar. However, due to the needed
prep work, and the work involved in putting everything back, we will not be
staying in our house while the work is done.
Thankfully, there's a Residence Inn nearby that allows pets, and has
kitchens, because I think we'll need to be out of our house for about three
weeks. Living in a different space will
be a major challenge for me, both on a vestibular and visual level.
The other day, while I was cooking, I thought about
moving around in a different kitchen.
Moving around the rooms will require extra effort for me, as my brain
learns the new spaces. There may well be
different routines. There's also the planning
involved in the organization of the prep work.
Meeting with and hiring a handyman company to do, among other things,
floor and wall paneling work. I'm confident that the prep work is all
doable, though some of it may be difficult.
Even with the handyman, there will be general work we'll
need to do to prepare the house. Spatially
OUR house will look different at different stages of the project. I will supervise and organize, but be limited
in terms of what I can actually do. I
know that wearing myself out doing something won't make sense, because I want to
maintain my health as best I can. As I
said, we've lived in our house for 22
years, but we now have weeks instead of months to get ready to get the project
done. So I will not be a perfectionist; some
sorting will be done prior to the work, but some things can simply go
temporarily into storage.
My first reaction to hearing what was needed, was to shut
down. To say "no way." Then I realized that I didn't want to avoid a
project because of my vestibular and vision disorders. Rather, I needed to break it down - do that
problem solving thing I've written about, and say "OK, this needs to be
dealt with, so how do I do that?".
My first thought was to give myself time, thus the one year later time
frame. But the stress of watching the
forecast for when it will rain, wondering how much it will rain, whether we'll
get seepage, if so how much, will there be any serious water damage, etc.,
etc., isn't working for me. It's too
stressful. And I recognized that
although dealing with this project will be very challenging for me, fixing this
seepage problem is possible.
Rain - even a thunderstorm - does not need to be a major
stress. I don't want my invisible
vestibular and vision disorders to take complete control; *I* need to have some
control over my environment, my world. I
can't say about everything that seems really difficult, "I can't do it
because I have these health problems." So I'll try not to over think what
needs doing, but problem solve as issues come up, and take each piece a step at
a time. I will keep in mind that there
will be positive changes in our basement - we may as well take advantage of
taking care of the seepage - and that I need to make my house a safe zone once
again.
