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If you've read my last two posts, you know that I've got
to deal with a major homeowner's project this summer. There's a lot of pieces and parts to this, so
I finally wrote a general timeline of what needed to happen when. My timeline - which is now printed and thumb
tacked to our kitchen bulletin board - is helpful. The job is scheduled - we've basically got a
month to go.
We've met with our contractor - Tom - to talk about
flooring, wall panel choices, and the general timing of everything. We've made a reservation at the local
Residence Inn, and Ron knows I'll need my computer set up. He and I will need to check in with our Village
to make sure we have the permit, but I think that will work out. I told Ron and the girls we needed to get
containers because we'll be storing a lot in our garage, and I don't want a
huge mess.
There may be some surprises along the way, but one way or
another everything WILL have an end point.
So that's a plus over my health issues, which are far less
definitive. A side note re health issues
- as I've mentioned on my VPIP FB site, getting off my steroidal nasal spray
took care of the retinal fluid (not gone completely, but much better), but now
I have to figure out about allergy/sinus problems. However, again, this hopefully will be more
easily fixable than my other disorders.
Still, thinking about all this upheaval this summer makes
me feel there are too many demands and challenges. Too much disruption. All of which makes me feel ungrounded. So I needed to be really specific about
stress relievers.
Here's what I came up with, not in any particular order:
1) There WILL be
an end to this, and some positive changes as a result. I have to remember that.
2) Breathing.
Sounds too simple, but I know when I'm stressed, my breathing changes,
and that starts a chain reaction. So I'm
going to try my best to stop myself when I feel stressed or overwhelmed and
Just. Breathe.
3) Listen to music.
Be in the moment, and just listen.
4) Snuggle my pets.
5) Try for some normalcy.
Routines and daily tasks. I
really need this. Doing something really
basic and mundane - like emptying the dishwasher - isn't boring. It's normal.
6) Talk things through with Ron and the girls. Make sure this stays a team effort.
7) Ask questions, but leave the work to our
contractor. To an extent, just like with
a health problem, if I have more info, that will be helpful. But some things, I can leave to Tom. Make sure he knows what we need, and let him
figure it out.
8) Be honest. I'm
going to make sure that Ron knows what makes me anxious - I don't want him to
think I'm feeling on top of dealing with something, when I'm not.
9) Don't be a perfectionist. Don't be too hard on myself. These are important for me, and apply to whatever
I need to do. When I write about
dealing with this, or anything else for that matter, I don't have to post the
perfect article. There's only so much
cognitive processing I can do, so I'll do the best I can with whatever I need
to do.
The cognitive processing thing is hard for others to
understand, so I may sometimes just have to say I need a break or
whatever. Doing what I can will be good
enough. Good enough will be enough. Even if everything doesn't go perfectly, it'll
be OK. One way or another, things will
work out. It's not worth making myself ill, having a setback.
10) I'm recovering
from a sinus infection, and I've got a lot going on, so I need to dial it down. Pacing matters.
11) Joyce is out of town for a couple weeks, and there
are some things that don't need to happen right now. I can maintain to a degree on my own, but
it's not the same as working with her. And
dealing with my sinus infection is another challenge. So I'll be careful, and some tasks will wait
a couple weeks until she's back, and can help me get back on an even keel.
12) Give myself credit for getting through each day. I've gotten through difficult times
before. None of them is ever identical,
but I'll get through again.
13) Print this out to remind myself of what I came up
with that will help me.
