I've been thinking a lot about music. I want to focus on who I am beyond my
invisible disorders, and DO things related to that, and music is definitely a
big part of who I am. Music is not just
a universal language; it's an experience everyone can share. I have so many memories tied to music - that
I've played, or sung, or music I've listened to. Whatever was going on in my life seems to be
linked to music. You don't have to be
talented to appreciate music, you just have to find music that speaks to you,
fits your mood, or even makes you feel like dancing. I have songs on my iPod that I have listened
to dozens of times - not an exaggeration!
Having Lovely here made me think about music, because
everyone can understand, appreciate music.
Even when there's a language barrier - which is more obvious now that
she's back in France, and can't DO anything with us - there's loads of music
she can listen to. Lovely enjoyed
listening to me playing my flute the few times she heard me on the
weekend. I did NOT do it like a
performance - I'm not ready for that - but
I wanted to play as I always do, each day, even though she was here. So I did, and she gave me a thumbs up. I wanted to connect with Lovely on Facebook
so I sent her a link to my YouTube channel.
I'll occasionally send her other videos as well.
There's a wealth of all kinds of music available online
now via YouTube, and lots of wonderful music themed videos. When I saw the news about the death of Jonathan
Crombie, the actor who played Gilbert Blythe in the Anne of Green Gables series
I loved, I looked up A of GG videos on YouTube.
There are a number of videos and most of them have really pretty music in
the background. I've also watched loads
of Harry Potter videos set to wonderful songs.
Music is like a magic thread that ties everything together.
I always notice how music is used in movies... it's hard
to imagine movies without music. I
finally saw the movie Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, based on the book by
the same name. Remembering 9/11 stirred
up a music memory. We took the girls to
Tom Chapin kids' concerts at Ravinia for a number of years. I found myself remembering singing Tom Chapin's
song "This Pretty Planet" with Leena about a month after 9/11.... it
was just a moment that flowed one day, that I've never forgotten.
I have loads of wonderful musical memories from Kol
Hadash Humanistic Congregation, which my family and I have belonged to now for
13 years. Music is always a key element
in services, whether it's the informal setting of Sukkot, or much more formal Kol
Nidre at Yom Kippur. I remember playing
my flute at a few Shabbat services, something I'm not currently doing, but
still a special memory. If I were to try
to imagine my wedding, or the girls Bat Mitzvahs, or Chanukah parties without
music, it would be like there was a strange silence, a missing soundtrack.
I've been trying to read sheet music every week with my
glasses. It's a goal I set myself
because I want to expand the music that's accessible to me. I'm keeping the music pretty simple for
now. And I'm also trying to sound out
some new, simple songs. Once I figure
out the starting note, that's really helpful.
And I try to figure out what key it's in.... sometimes it's just
frustrating, but then I figure something out, and think "hey, that's
it!" and it's really cool. So
satisfying to hear the song come to life, hear the right notes come out of my
flute... and then I try to repeat so that it eventually feels natural. My fingers start to know which note comes
next.
I've also been thinking about what I like to DO with my
music.... and that led me to think about goals.
And that sometimes goals need to be adjusted, but don't have to
evaporate. Like eventually doing another
video for my YouTube channel - a simpler video, that's visually less demanding,
but still doable. A video that focuses
on a favorite piece of music or two.
Just me and my flute. And playing
with another musician... I used to get together with a couple flutists
regularly and I really enjoyed it.
Someday I want to do that again... I won't be playing fancy music at
first, nor will I play for a long time.
But even a little bit, with some laughter thrown in, would be wonderful.
And then of course there's teaching a child, or an adult
to play a flute. I really loved doing
that. It's really wonderful, magical
when they play the first real note, or realize they're actually playing a
simple bit of music - a stanza or two.
Doing that again with even one student would feel so good. Leena commented that she thought I was
improving, which surprised me. But I
realized that not only do I try to play every day, but I'm working hard at
breaking old bad habits. I'm learning to
really pay attention to breathing. And
I've learned to listen, because I have to.
Sometimes I just play and let my fingers go, and a sound may surprise
me. And everything, especially being a
better listener means, I think, being a better teacher.
I could worry about what might happen, because life does
have a way sometimes of throwing a monkey wrench into plans. But I can't let that kind of thinking,
worrying about "what ifs" keep me from setting goals. You have to - I have to - set goals. Dreaming is nice, but setting goals means you
actually have a plan. I strongly believe
that being functional is important, but function that builds towards a purpose
feels better. I don't want to set myself
any deadlines for when I'll be playing duets, or recording a video or teaching
someone how to play the flute. I just
know that I'll be working towards those goals, and that there will be lots of
very small steps along the way. But
every little step builds on the one that came before it.
For anyone who wants to take a look, here's a link to my YouTube Channel -
https://www.youtube.com/user/cool09VIDeos1
For anyone who wants to take a look, here's a link to my YouTube Channel -
https://www.youtube.com/user/cool09VIDeos1
