I asked these two questions of my
parents today, by e-mail. So now I'm asking myself, and maybe anyone reading
this can ask themselves.
1) what's difficult for me right now?
2) what's good? what do I have to
be grateful for?
It's very strange not to go
places, but I don't know how vulnerable I am to COVID 19. I don't think a
doctor could tell me. Having less "conventional" comorbidities means
that I err on the side of caution. That just seems smart.
But it means my world is
relatively small. I take the approach of "patient heal thyself"
because I don't do Feldenkrais or vision therapy anymore. I check in with my
cognitive behavioral therapist, Christina, about once a month. But it's
definitely challenging. There are so many things that are different now. It's
difficult that I have no confidence in the Trump administration.
My mother is right - I do need to
acknowledge what's really hard right now. And I try to give myself
self-compassion about dealing with what's hard.
Now for the other answer -
2) I'm incredibly grateful that
we do not face financial hardship - this is huge! I feel so bad for everyone
who does.
I'm grateful we can put food on
the table, and have a safe, good house where we live.
I'm grateful my family is getting along.
I'm grateful for our two cats and dog.
I'm grateful I can see my parents
now, for a socially distant, but still present visit.
I'm grateful for the friends
& family I talk to by phone. Phone calls - hearing voices, sharing laughter
is just SO helpful.
I'm grateful for all the music
online - YouTube is my friend!
I'm grateful I can take walks
with my husband, and dog.
I'm grateful for all the lovely
flowers I've seen, and that sharing pictures with family and friends lifts
their spirits, as well as mine. Colors of nature are truly awesome!
I'm grateful I play my flute a
bit each day. I sometimes play our piano keyboard.
I'm grateful for all the audio
books, and for Google Translates audio feature - SO grateful!
I'm grateful for my congregation,
and all the effort being made to help us feel together, connected.
I am trying to choose optimism
and hope, over pessimism. I'm trying to keep on putting one foot after the
other. There are many people who have lived through - have survived - incredibly
difficult times, prior to right now, and even found ways to thrive. So why not
now, as well?
