To
listen: copy and paste into Google Translate, click the "speaker"
icon.
The Intro below is the same as for Part 1
- for those who want to see the beginning of this whole process, please read or
listen to Part 1, dated June 18th 2016.
Introduction....
I put together all the posts I've done over
the last few weeks. It's a diary of sorts, about construction, and
my experience with my vestibular and vision disorders. You'll
see that I
did not edit the posts. My reasoning was threefold: 1) we're
still unpacking,
getting organized, and I didn't want to deal with the visual challenge of that much
editing.
2)
I thought that sharing this un-edited, less polished writing
would give a better feel for how my writing reflects my experience... hopefully
you'll get the flavor of what it's been like.
3)
I wanted to see for myself what it was like to listen to the whole thing in one
chunk, and thought I'd share it.
I was struck, when listening to my posts as one continuous
narrative, the continual need to find a
balance between planning, and staying in the moment, taking it one day, often
one event, at a time.
Anyway, I'm posting this in
two parts - pre July 4th and post July 4th.... Thanks for taking a look :-)
Part 2 ---- Summer
2016 home projects....
Hmmm.... waiting to
hear from Tom (contractor) or somebody... left a message that we still need
half our house back - including the laundry room.... gonna see Joyce (FT)
today... trying to do my FT home therapy bc I've found if I don't, it's like
missing meds, but hard to do when my cognitive processing is cluttered,
fuzzy.... one day at a time... yup, keep saying that... it's Tues. right ? :-)
I want to write, but
still don't have my regular set-up, so I'm doing these mini posts....
finally talked to Tom
this a.m. - told him I needed regular updates, and that I knew he wouldn't
understand but that this whole situation is very difficult for me bc my
vestibular and vision disorders....
there are parts of
the house that are normal, if you don't look under a table or dresser...
there's a mound of stuff and then some in the garage, our dining room table is
doubling as a computer table... any change requires adjustment on my part -
whether vestibular or visual (or both).... I'm taking lots of breaks, needing a
lot of sleep - telling myself that taking care of myself is important, not
selfish... when I'm really tired, I just listen to music - can't deal with
processing a story or narrative.
Much harder to get
away from noise... even without workers here, since we're living on one floor
now, if the TV is on, I often hear it (unless I'm in the bathroom ;-) ... I
wonder how much adjustment there will be to the new visuals of the basement -
new floor, wall paneling, and a few furniture changes... well, I'll find out...
if not by the end of this week, then beginning of next week.... I can do this....
Progress... I don't
have to go behind plastic to get to cabinets in the laundry room - that was
very weird - and I have a washer and dryer again...
Had to ask worker to
move washer - which meant talking and moving with everything in a slightly
different place... different spatial and visual lines... always something new,
everything is an adventure...
Plumber coming
tomorrow... we'll see what gets moved back into place tomorrow...
Ironic - I remember
Perma Seal asking "were you planning on remodeling your
basement?"....
"Planning" would be the key word here... No... but apparently,
you're going to tear up our basement, sooooo....
anyway, looks like no
work will be done today... the plus side - no worker noise, the down side -
another weekend of weirdness upstairs... hopefully next week we'll actually get
DONE...
I know life is full
of unplanned stuff... my disorders are certainly one of those, and dealing with
this whole project while living with my vestibular and vision stuff is
challenging... but I have no choice... when I think too far ahead - even
actually to next week - it's easy to feel overloaded - so I back up and say
"OK, what's happening today..."
7-12-16
so the good news is
that I'm feeling a bit better, grounded, having been home for a week and doing
my Feldenkrais home therapy... not doing my VT yet...
Plumber's here
today.... have to contain the pets again.... poor things don't understand...
but gotta keep them safe...
Day 10 at home... quiet today, no worker since it's
Sun... kitchen floor looks good, but still figuring it out re
vestibular/sensory issues.... really looking forward to getting my regular
computer set up, and DR eating regular again... too many eye gaze switches
right now (an issue re my vision disorder)... wonder if going back will be an
adjustment, or just "Oh, I remember this!"....
Workers are on their way this a.m.... will everything
actually get finished this week??? Here's hoping...
Hopefully several workers are gonna show up today... the
plastic that covered everything is gone - a good sign.... have I mentioned I'm
really ready to be done?! I think the
girls and pets are too.... I know, I know - this too shall pass.... much more
definitive than my disorders...
YAY - workers are actually here! :-)
Finally had a chance to touch base with my
psychologist... I do recommend having a professional to talk to occasionally -
ask for a sliding scale if you have to - I think it's worth it! He and I discussed finding positive things to
occupy my mind... really important - I think of it as making sure the negative
thoughts - the weeds - don't have space!
I'll be noodling around on an electric piano keyboard
when our basement is finally done... and thinking about posting vids here of me
doing a bit of playing.... gotta think about this... challenges that actually
feel positive!
We had to empty out most of our basement... some of it's
in mounds in the middle of two rooms, and a lot is in our garage.... still
is... SO tired of this... our contractor was apparently in the ER today... so
waiting to hear what's up... he's a lousy communicator... UGH!
ugh, so ready for
this whole thing to be OVER.... contractor didn't show up and texted Ron that
he was in the ER all day... so NOW what.... UGH... this is the fourth week of
this....
I've learned that any change, anything new - whether
large or small, or subtle - challenges me on a vestibular and/or visual
level... and there are limits to how
much I can deal with, without feeling it, so when I can, I have to limit
exposure to anything that's a challenge, even if it's a known challenge ....
It occurred to me that I have no control over what's
going on with our contractor, and no choice about dealing with the consequences
- at least none I'm aware of right now - so I have to deal with this... one way
or another, we'll be done, and in the meantime, I need to do what I can to
maintain my health....
On a positive note, Tom (contractor) texted us re his new
injury, and assured us that workers are on the way today, and are aware that we
need to get the job done... here's hoping it will happen today!
7-16-16
We managed to do enough to make it pet friendly in our
basement... course we'll see what they discover anyway - since I can't THINK
like a cat or dog :-)....
Our basement keeps changing as we slowly unpack and
organize, so my brain constantly is figuring out new stuff... I'm definitely
going thru adjustment... Makes for very
interesting and weird dreams - so strange how we rehash and process stuff in
our sleep...
think we're gonna hire a prof. cleaning company to deal
with the mold... yuck... sigh.... necessary... there's a couple rooms in
particular that definitely need it... hopefully by the end of next week we'll
be moved in.. we'll see... what a production!
7-17-16
Slowly putting things in order, in bits and
pieces.... e-mailed Tom about a few loose ends...
