September 9, 2021 - One decade... be present.

It’s been a decade since I got sick. I didn’t know then, that night, that my life was dramatically changed. I’ve done therapies, and they’ve...

January 14th 2015 Practical stuff

I've learned a variety of management/coping strategies both on my own, and from my therapists that help me right now, in a very practical way.  I decided to share a number of these all in one blog; maybe others will share as well.  I found they ended up in four categories
1) Feeling more grounded, 2) General management, 3) Electronic/tech help, and 4) Venturing out.  I've included a few services I use that make a tremendous difference in my life.  I also hope that by sharing this, anyone reading this who doesn't have these kinds of challenges gains some insight and/or understanding.

Feeling more grounded:
1) Chairs on wheels  - place a folded towel on the floor.  Office chairs often are on wheels, and if your floor doesn't have carpeting, the movement can be way too much.  I have a large towel folded in half placed under the wheels of the chair at my computer.  It still moves, but much less, and I feel much more safe, stable and solid.
2) People often move around when they talk.   When sitting down, they bounce a leg, foot, etc.  I politely ask them to please hold still, that the movement bothers me. If they are pacing, I ask them to please stop.  This is hard to do in group situations, in which case trying to focus on whatever isn't moving can help.
3) Standing - Touch a counter, table, wall, whatever is nearby.  Sitting - I make sure if I'm sitting down that both feet are flat on the floor.  No crossing of legs or ankles.  Again, touching furniture so you know where you are in space is good.  I'm a big fan of Lumbar support pillows - I own three.
4) Out in public, letting yourself sway a bit is actually OK.  A lot of people move a bit when they stand, and probably won't notice.  Going with the movement is easier, I think, than trying to hold still.  Bodies are meant for movement.
5) Phone - when I'm on the phone, listening in only one ear feels very strange...I do much better when the sound is coming from both sides,  so I use it on speakerphone.  For personal conversations you'll want to be in private, but I find it really helps to have the sound coming at me like a real conversation. I tell whoever I'm speaking with that I'm using my speakerphone. For non-personal conversations, the way people use their cell phones these days, it's really not a big deal. 

General management:
1)  I use a sleep wedge - I cannot handle sleeping flat, and there are different heights depending on what you want.  I have one that is about 7" and one that's more like10".  Not expensive, and much easier to use, I think, than a pile of pillows which tends to move around - very annoying.
2) Dimmer switches - these are not expensive, and some may be able to get a friend or family member to install them.  There are some rooms where we don't have these, but I find dimmer switches super helpful to cut down on intense lighting when needed.
3) Nightlights - it's much harder to navigate in the dark for me, so nightlights, or a long lasting small fluorescent or LED light helps a lot.  I also think during the winter when there's less daylight, it's a mood lifter, which is good when you're dealing with these challenges.
4) Taking breaks - I don't like to just sit and do nothing, though sometimes I have to.  What is a break for me may not be for someone else.  For me, sometimes I literally get up and walk around the room, other times my break is doing a very different task to change things up for my body.  I actually lie down and rest, setting an alarm, once in early afternoon.
5) Getting stuff out of the dryer - I like to be able to either sit down or stand when I get stuff out of the dryer.  I have a basic plastic stool with a folded towel on it.  I don't like standing on stools now, but it's an easy seat when I need it.
6) I do a lot of cooking, so I try to cook in batches and freeze, make enough for leftovers.  Standing at the stove, taking things in and out of the oven can be difficult.  If you have the space, and don't mind defrosting a freezer once a year, large freezers are inexpensive.  It's just a big cold container.  Well worth it.

Electronic/tech help:
1) Google translate is like hi-tech magic - I cut and paste a paragraph or two into the box on the left, click on the speaker icon and listen to a female voice read me the paragraph.  There seems to be a limit to usage before it needs a break, but I recently listened to a news article for 20 minutes, and when it was done, I needed a break too :-) !  Anyway, I highly recommend this tool for online "reading."  NOTE:  GT works in other browsers, but better in Google Chrome.
2)  Speaking of reading - again for online - you can zoom a page to make the font larger, or cut and paste something into Microsoft Word and then format it so it's easier.  I like short lines of text.  For regular paper, putting something on either side of the page sometimes helps, or folding paper so you're not looking at the whole thing at once.  This is a time when tunnel vision is good.
3) Listening to books, etc. - most public libraries have audio books and you can listen to the CDs on cd players if you don't (as I don't) want to be on your computer.  There's also a FREE service called Choice Magazine Listening - http://www.choicemagazinelistening.org/ - you need to send a doctor's note saying why you need their service.  Then you get a special playing device which you can listen to with or without headphones.  It's VERY easy to use.  The cassettes that they send of short stories, poems and various articles - four times a year - are USBs that are in special cassettes that you put into the player.  You get each one for two months.
Also, I highly recommend Illinois Talking Books - https://www.illinoistalkingbooks.org/ - this is another free service.  They are in other states as well.  I don't think it's hard to have a doctor's note that does the job, and they have a pretty extensive library of books.  I use this service a lot - and people who read the books do a wonderful job...they are the unsung actors and actresses out there!  I use the same playing device as for CML.

Venturing out:
1) My town - a northern suburb of Chicago - offers discount coupons for taxis.  They didn't even look at the letter from my doctor.  I strongly encourage people to see what if any services are available in their communities that may help.
2)  Speaking of going out - I don't go to restaurants very much, but when I do, I ALWAYS call ahead.  Looking at the menu online is helpful, but speaking with a manager to make sure that having dietary restrictions met won't be a problem makes for a much less stressful outing.  I have had glitches, but it's still worth it.  If it's a new restaurant, I ask about TV screens and ceiling fans.  I can't tolerate either, so this is important.
3) Haircuts - I've written about this in more detail, but here are the basics:  I don't get my hair washed there, I always have my chair locked so there's no movement, and at my request, the ceiling fans are turned off.
5) Solid chairs and location.  If you have a choice of chair, I always go for the more solid, not-super stuffed/upholstered kind.  Sometimes this means speaking up, or moving chairs around a bit, but to me it's worth it.  Regarding location - if I go to something, I think a bit about where I want to sit, rather than just plopping in the first available seat.  I also think about what may be in my field of vision, and what I'll be dealing with - is there something I can do to make it a bit easier on me?  For example, sitting so I'm not looking at passing cars, or moving screens.  When I attend adult education at our Sunday School, I like to sit in the middle in the back.  My view is more equal on either side, and if I DO need to get up for a break, it's easier.
6) Fanny pack - lastly, I no longer carry a purse.  I much prefer to have a fanny pack at my waist.  It's easy to access, and for balance having something at my waist feels much better than having a purse slung over my shoulder.  Fanny packs are not expensive - you can get good, durable packs from outerwear/camping type retailers.

I'm sure I left some stuff out, and that someone else's list would look a bit different.   But it would still reflect a lot of work, a great deal of effort. I'm struck by how much there is to figure out in order to deal with these kinds of invisible disorders.  So we all need to give ourselves a lot of credit for what we manage. 


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