I looked recently at my
Dec. 16th, 2015 post about my flute rehab plan; I've been thinking about my
music, and reviewing my situation. I
still believe that, eventually, I will be able once again to teach private
flute lessons. I FINALLY did a mini
practice lesson with my daughter Cara.
Overall the mini lesson went well, and was a good learning experience
for me. The problem is that making
progress with this goal is very gradual.
I also find myself thinking when I'm doing my VT and FT, "how can I
make this feel less like work?".
The answer lies in
feeling energy and enjoyment, which got me thinking about cognitive re-directs
and cognitive over-rides. Cognitive over-rides
are, I think, a bit more natural and less overtly conscious. It means that you find yourself focusing on
something else while you're doing something, but without necessarily saying
"I'm going to think about something else." It's
more likely to happen if you let yourself relax, rather than getting
hyper-focused on your task. Cognitive
over-rides help make a difficult task easier, because you are no longer
THINKING so much about the difficulty of whatever you are trying to do. For example, if you are taking a walk, and
start noticing your surroundings - sunshine, pretty flowers, birds, etc. - the task
of walking becomes easier.
A re-direct is more
purposeful. You intentionally direct
your brain to something else, and it can get your thinking, your processing
onto a higher level. A re-direct during
a VT exercise will, I think, take the pressure off a bit, make it feel less
like work. I've found when I talk about
something with Ann while I do an exercise, it almost always allows me to do
better. I think the same can be true on
my own - I can hum a tune or let myself
think about things while I work.
I messaged my friend
Glenn recently about the fact that if you're really into whatever you're doing,
you also often have better mental energy.
Being excited about something makes you feel energetic. Boredom is very bad for cognitive processing
- your brain kind of shuts down, or gets sluggish. I told
him I had decided to get brand new music to play, music that I really enjoy,
and WANT to play. If I have new music
I'm excited about, I think it will help my
rehab/brain re-training.
I always used to say
that my students needed to enjoy learning to play flute, because if music isn't
enjoyable, what's the point? I know
music can also be moving and cathartic, but there really needs to be an element
of joy. I thought about the idea of
sluggishness and boredom when I took out a piece of sheet music I've played
before, and played one line. New music
would feel fresh, without the baggage of remembering when I'd played it in the
past, which is bittersweet for me.
Ann and Joyce were both
very enthusiastic about my new music idea. They both always say my face lights
up when I talk about music. I'm going to buy a John Denver songbook. Surprisingly, I never bought a songbook of
his music before, so actually playing his music would be new for me. If I can't find flute solo arrangements that
work for me, given the level I'm looking for right now, I'll buy one to play
the vocal line. I know many of his
songs, so comprehension won't be so complicated, and I'll be playing music I
love.
There's also the matter
of timing. I wrote recently about how
important routines are to me. I still
believe what I said, but when it comes to brain re-training, the last thing I
want is for my brain to get sluggish out of boredom. The very word "routine" sometimes
conjures up images of boredom - that "here we go again" feeling. I think there needs to be a balance between
routines for some things, and doing something a bit unexpected so our brains
pay attention.
Finally, there's this
thing called fun. Long term goals with a
plan are important, but I also need short term fun woven into my day. Things that make me feel good. Part of that can come from listening to
music. Feeling good can also come, for
me, from letting bits of flute playing be a more natural part of my day. I - like many musicians - always felt an
element of work in my playing because I thought of it as practicing. Now I want to let that go, and just let music
be a way to express myself. So I'll go
back to playing my flute more than once a day, even if it's very short. When I think of it, I'll play my flute. Probably more in the morning, but I'll see
what feels good; I'm hoping to feel
energized, so I might surprise myself.
Letting my mind wander
when I'm doing my VT and FT, as long as I'm not wandering into worry, will help
me on my journey. Music I love will help
me. Music is my thing, but some people
are into crafts, gardening, or whatever. I've said before, but it's worth repeating -
find something that is joyful for you, and make it a part of your daily life -
especially for the difficult days.
