Why is cognitive processing difficult when you have a
vestibular or vision disorder, or a combo of the two? The short answer is that I (or anyone with
one or both of these disorders) am not doing certain things as automatically as
I should be. Neural fatigue is a factor
in large part because I'm using up more
energy to do some things than I should be.
There's a ton of info that your brain processes all the
time. Some of it you're aware of:
thinking about a problem, trying to explain something to someone, listening to
and understanding directions. But
there's processing that happens that many people are not aware of: Where am I in space? How far is it from here (where I'm standing)
to there? What image do I need to have
in my mind when I think about this or that?
The "where am I in space?" is a big question
that actually involves a lot of pieces: Am I sitting or standing? Am I moving a
part of my body? Is there hand/eye coordination involved? Am I moving my eyes
independently of my head, or is my head moving as well? If my head is moving, is it moving from side
to side, or up and down? Is my eye gaze
switching from close up to far away and then back again?
I don't exactly think consciously about all of these
things, all the time. However, I do
think about at least some of these things, and that takes energy. Because I'm using more energy to process various
more basic info, I have less energy sometimes for other more complex processing. Or I get tired more quickly, because I'm
using up my energy more quickly, in order to process it all. When I have a conversation with someone, part
of my brain is, for example, figuring out spatial stuff.
In terms of my basement project this summer, I'm using
mental energy to figure out a lot of new stuff; how to pack things away, where
to put things, what I need to bring to the hotel to make it workable for me, to
name a few. I always have things to
think about, but there's more right now than is typical, and all the pieces
really add up. I have to work harder
with all of this new info.
A major goal with the brain retraining therapies I do is
for the processing of all this info to become more automatic, more the way it
used to be for me before I got sick.
There has been improvement since I began, but I've definitely still got
work to do. So that when I'm having, as
I mentioned, a conversation with someone, all I have to do is concentrate on
the conversation, and nothing else. Or thinking
about a big new project doesn't feel quite as overwhelming.
The other goal of therapy, as I see it, is for my brain
to do various tasks automatically without so much effort. This would mean that taking a walk, being in
new surroundings (not just a hotel, but any social setting I'm not familiar
with), or any number of multitasking activities could be done more easily. My brain wouldn't have to put so much effort
into all the pieces. This would mean
less neural fatigue. I wouldn't feel
like processing more info was more effort than I could muster.
Writing this down felt like a challenging mental
exercise, but I felt it was a good opportunity to try to explain a little bit
about the cognitive processing issue.
It's a big deal for anyone with the kinds of invisible disorders I have,
and I'm pretty sure it's hard for people to understand. And what's perhaps MOST important is to
believe anyone who is dealing with these issues, that they are not being lazy,
or stupid. We all are working harder
than we should have to, whether it's obvious to the casual observer, or
not. A little understanding and empathy
can go a long way.
