September 9, 2021 - One decade... be present.

It’s been a decade since I got sick. I didn’t know then, that night, that my life was dramatically changed. I’ve done therapies, and they’ve...

Archive for May 2018

May 19th, 2018 Embracing, and moving on...


I'm putting this into words because it's one of the things holding me back...

There was another moment, in addition to the night I got sick... I remember about a month after getting sick, I'd seen the neurologist (I think re the BPPV I had - later cured by a different neurologist) and he'd said something - don't remember what - that made me decide that I was gonna read, I was just gonna DO it, it was gonna WORK... I took out a book - don't remember what - sat down, and opened it... I read about a paragraph - no memory at all of what - and then finally basically said "I give up..." I got up, and the room was SPINNING... very scary... it did obviously eventually stop... I KNEW something was horribly wrong... but WHAT?!
Unfortunately by the time I saw Joyce, my wonderful OT (9 months after getting sick, thanks to my friend Leora), I was too sick for my system to handle dealing with the vision part...  Joyce did, in time, steer me to Dr. Margolis...

There have been so many twists and turns for me... but I need to remember that that horrible reading moment is not likely to happen again... and I realize now that I need to share this with my new CBT therapist... I need to embrace it, and then put this behind me...

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May 16th, 2018 My positive list...


I keep saying I need to focus on the positive, sooo, I decided to actually come up with a list -

drawing (with colored pencils) with readers

cutting veggies with readers

taking walks wearing sunglasses
the walks are longer
I'm walking a bit faster

doing a lot of ordinary tasks in house wearing distance glasses

more hands-on care of our cats

smoother functioning of daily tasks

working with a new CBT therapist to deal with the anxiety/PTSD and depression that came as a result of my invisible disorders so I can improve...

working with a psychiatrist, and taking meds...



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May 2nd, 2018 Me and my glasses



Here I am with my tinted distance glasses :-) ... these are not the same as my sunglasses - my sunglasses (not pictured, not prescription) have a different tint, and larger lenses/frame.... the blue purse I'm holding in one of the pics is my glasses holder - this allows me to move around with my readers (also not pictured, but which look similar, though less strong, tint) and these distance glasses...

Dr. Margolis (my developmental optometrist) intentionally did not give me bifocals - he felt the adjustment would be too difficult... I agree... 

I am using distance glasses because my vision - particularly my depth perception - is improved when I use them... it feels like my glasses somehow help my eyes to work together properly... the blue tint (a very specific tint only his optician does) helps my sensory system... I don't completely understand this, but I think it partly ties in to helping with anxiety, and dealing with lights is definitely easier... 


Bifocals would be more difficult because I'd have to look through one part of the lens for distance, and one for close up... Although there are disadvantages to switching between my glasses, having two pairs feels easier for me, at least for now, in terms of visual/cognitive processing ....



I'm still getting used to my distance glasses, which I've had about 2 months, but started fairly recently wearing more... I don't wear them all the time yet  - I'm still learning... my brain's still absorbing all this :-)



Photo credit - Ron

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