September 9, 2021 - One decade... be present.

It’s been a decade since I got sick. I didn’t know then, that night, that my life was dramatically changed. I’ve done therapies, and they’ve...

April 3rd, 2018 Shadows, reflections, edges = depth perception...


Something is changing for me... I've had a month off from vision therapy (VT) but have had several conversations with Ann, and done some things at home, and this time off gave my body time to absorb... and who knows what else is going on, working inside my neurological self - I'm getting glimpses of vision I don't think I ever had before... wow! 

It's one thing to know intellectually/cognitively an object is round, has depth, it's quite another to really SEE it in a palpable way... this new vision isn't ALWAYS there, but I have a hunch it'll continue to grow...
Exhilarating and exhausting... makes me feel a bit off kilter at times, but I know it's a good thing...  There's weight and volume, density and space in between things that is a THING itself... really kind of amazing... how did I not SEE this before?!

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March 8th, 2018 My journey continues; a good anxiety/CBT specialist


Did another 1 hr session to finish my intake at The Anxiety Treatment Center... I like Christina, and she really gets what happened to me in terms of anxiety - particularly the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD -component... she has a much deeper understanding of cognitive behavioral therapy - CBT - than my former therapist, as well as a much better understanding of anxiety over all.

While she agrees that I'll likely always have some limitations, she ALSO believes my life can be better - improved... She said there are no guarantees, but that she believes she can help me, and she's hopeful.

I told her it was a relief to be understood well.. I'm also glad to be understanding myself better... it's going to take time, and effort.... she'll work with me and my other therapists as a team, which I was really glad to hear... it will be gradual, and I'm kind of scared - which I think is OK... there's possibility ahead.... good possibility....


NOTE:  please take a look at the links below for more info re CBT... Christina told me there's a body of research showing that meds (i.e. SSRIs) and CBT are a proven treatment for certain kinds of anxiety.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/cognitive-behavioral-therapy  

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February 7th, 2018 Medication/mental health update...

Overall, people like that I'm keeping this conversation going, so.... I like Dr. Mirsky, my psychiatrist - he's getting to know me, and explains things well...

For now, I'll stay at 20 mg of Prozac, because he says I haven't been at that level long enough to know if it's right for me... if not, he'll slowly increase... I'm now going up to 7.5 mg of mirtazapine - technically the lowest dose (previously, I was splitting pills).... this can also go higher if needed...  Mirtazapine is an antidepressant which works well with Prozac, and helps with sleep and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)... so that's all good...

he emphasized that he wants to keep on going low and slow, because I'm not having trouble with side effects and he wants to keep it that way...he said again that this is a process...

Dr. Mirsky said he felt I'd improved - my awareness is better, and we talked about various stuff going on with me... he also emphasized that he really wants me doing cognitive behavioral therapy - CBT - with my mental health therapist... he feels strongly, based on what happened to me, and how I experience anxiety that this modality is key... I plan to talk more with my therapist about this... I understand that anxious thinking can become a sort of habit, and what to do, once there's awareness, is important...

Sleep, mood, CBT - this could all help me with my disorders... So, it's a bit scary to say this "out loud," - I'm still a bit skeptical - but I'm starting to feel a possibility of hope...



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