I commented to my Vision Therapist, Ann, recently about
how there's so much to work on in VT, so many pieces. She acknowledged this, but said that yes, I
was correct, that a lot of the pieces are connected. She also said "you understand now how
complex vision is, and how it impacts everything." Not the least of which is cognitive
processing, comprehension of info. I've
had similar conversations with my Feldenkrais therapist, my OT Joyce.
My friend Margaret wrote recently that she had about six
partly written blog posts, and wanted to finish one (I can relate to that). My friend David has told me that writing is
difficult for him (he does videos). I
know many writers get "writer's block," but what I'm talking about
isn't "I have nothing to say."
It's about organizing the words. Sometimes
I feel like I want to write, but gathering my thoughts, pulling everything
together into something coherent just isn't there.
This has to do with what I just mentioned, cognitive
processing, which is a big deal. I wrote
a piece about cognitive processing back in June which really hit a nerve. The other day, I decided to actually look up
a couple of definitions.
Here's one for
cognitive:
adjective
1.of or relating to cognition; concerned with the act or process of knowing, perceiving, etc.:
cognitive development; cognitive functioning.
2.of or relating to the mental processes of perception, memory, judgment, and reasoning, as contrasted with emotional and volitional processes.
And now here's one for "cognition" -
"Cognition is the process of acquiring knowledge through our
thoughts, experiences, and senses."
Here's my take away having thought about these. If you are able to think clearly, all your
senses are available to you, and you're not using more mental energy than is,
well, normal for various balance related tasks, this thing called cognitive processing
is much easier. Learning, reasoning,
etc. isn't compromised. Multi tasking
doesn't use up your resources. Depending
on what I'm doing; i.e. how my day is going, how rested I am, If I'm going out
(preferably in the a.m., no more than three days in a row) my resources get
used up more, or less, quickly. I don't
have the stamina that I'd have if I wasn't existing in my "new
normal," but that's not an appropriate yardstick by which to measure
myself.
With everything else I need energy for, using it up to
remember the same thing six times in a row isn't happening. My memory in and of itself isn't really that
bad, but SEEMS like it sometimes. It
takes extra energy to do certain kinds of multi tasking activities that many
don't think about, so I have to be careful how I use my processing resources,
my thinking power.
I use visual reminders; putting a pot on the stove re cooking,
putting my cordless phone on the table to remember a necessary phone call. I write myself notes. Not long - often only a word or two about
something. My paper doesn't have lines -
too much visual clutter - and is small.
Think of something a bit smaller than a 3" x 5" index
card. I never put too many different
items - six is plenty - and once two or three items have been crossed out, I
re-do my note. My notes need to be
neat. I can read my own handwriting, but
I don't like reading other people's handwriting. All of this saves my brain energy.
Using my computer takes a lot of resources, mental effort.
When I'm writing, or on Facebook, there's
a lot of eye gaze switching. This could
be from the keyboard to the screen, or from one spot on the screen to another
spot. There's comprehension, whether I'm
listening to something, or thinking about a response to something. And there's my spatial sense of where I am in
relation to everything else, what's around me.
I have to scroll, which is visual work.
There's a lot of hand/eye coordination, which requires multi-tasking,
which is work. Sometimes I close my eyes
for a bit, but even so, computer use requires a lot of effort, of multi-tasking;
processing a lot pretty much at the same time.
Sometimes I listen to what someone else has written, and
can't help thinking "wow, I wish I could put together something like
that!". I can't write a piece with
any complexity to it in a day. Granted,
I'm a perfectionist. But I also simply
get tired because I'm working so hard. Then
I remind myself that that writer isn't dealing with my challenges. I realize that everyone has their troubles,
but not all troubles impact that thing called cognitive processing the same
way. Still, it's hard never to think
about what I'd be able to do - write, whatever - if I wasn't using so many of
my resources on visual/vestibular issues.
I work hard to make progress in my rehab - both Vision
Therapy and Feldenkrais - which is a big reason why it's tiring. In the end, I remind myself - again - that I
need to give myself "A" for effort, and credit for what I CAN do, and
not compare myself to others. Margaret
DID finally finish and post a good piece.
David put out a great video. We all need to choose and use our resources
wisely, but still try to DO. We each need
to do what we can with our lives, whether it's writing, creating a video, or
whatever.
