This drawing of words are some key
concepts, ideas that I try to use from my CBT - cognitive behavioral
therapy. I have a much better
understanding now, than a year ago, of my PTSD anxiety - as well as when
depression sets in. That's a good thing.
I listened again to my piece "some
kind of success" (2-6-19). Success in the US tends to be measured by very
specific, conventional parameters - money, productivity, etc. It's really easy
to get caught up in that, but for me - & I think many with chronic
illness/conditions/disorders - it's really NOT helpful.
What does success really mean to me?
1) manageable fatigue - being tired
at the end of the day is OK, & needing to rest once a day is also OK. More
than that on a regular basis is not.
2) brain fog - occasional brain fog
- i.e. after a really special event - is okay. More than that is not.
3) basic functioning - being able to
do daily tasks of living - cooking, laundry, etc. - with what I consider
reasonable pacing is okay. More than that is not.
4) activities for enjoyment -
listening to music, audiobooks, creative stuff, occasional activities with my
husband, phone calls, etc. - with what I considered for myself to be reasonable
pacing is okay. More than that is not.
5) occasional special events -
holidays, etc. Being able to do this with a certain amount of extra planning is
acceptable. Feeling overwhelmed by them
is not.
6) Support/maintenance therapy (to
be figured out), so energy/time for ???
My birthday, & the anniversaries
of when I started VT & Feldenkrais, are all in May. Rehab is time, effort, $ if you put it in the
simplest of terms. More communication - particularly with Dr. Margolis, &
my vision therapist Ann - are needed. What goals do they have for me, do *I*
have, that make sense?
Looking at this picture - this life
I've described - IS, I think, a success. Unexpected stuff can, and almost
certainly will, get into the mix. My goal will be to deal with whatever that
stuff is, the best I can.
