September 9, 2021 - One decade... be present.

It’s been a decade since I got sick. I didn’t know then, that night, that my life was dramatically changed. I’ve done therapies, and they’ve...

March 14, 2020 - The Atlas of Happiness, and COVID-19



My husband Ron, who will be 65 in July, and I (59 in May) have never experienced anything like this COVID-19, and how it's impacting the world. First of all, please make sure you get your info from reliable sources! And wash your hands!


Ironically - or not - I just finished listening to The Atlas of Happiness: global secrets on how to be happy, by journalist Helen Russell. The narrator, Peter Holdway, was wonderful. She writes, from A to Z, about the culture, some history, and happiness of 33 different countries. All in bite size essays.



I think it's very good timing because everything shutting down is, to borrow my daughter Leena's term - soul crushing.

Anyway, here's my take-away during these challenging times:

1) Use your phone, and talk to friends and family - no not texting, conversations! There's nothing that replaces the sound of another human voice, and even laughing together. Humans are social animals, and we have to still find ways to connect.

2) Get outside - take a walk if you can, and really take in the trees, grass, sky and sun. If you can't take a walk, at least take a chair out and enjoy being out of your house. Spring is coming, and things will grow even during these COVID-19 times.

3) Do something you enjoy - preferably with your hands. Crafting (this is apparently big in the good old USA), drawing, paying attention to your pets. Pay attention to ANYTHING that's positive. Watch a good movie, find a good book.


And I'm reminding myself, that eventually, this too shall pass. In the meantime, I'll hug my husband, and snuggle my pets.  I don't know what's coming next, but I'm determined to still find pieces of life to enjoy.

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March 4, 2020 - This is what I know




I've had stretches - particularly in the beginning - when I was very much struggling... now I try for management, knowing I will have some bad days, but hoping for mostly good, or at least decent days.

I know the sun will rise - and here's a lovely shot of a sunrise.

My blog is called Visible Person, Invisible Problem, but I actually have four disorders - I like the word "disorders" because it implies a lack of order, a lack of synchronicity - vertiginous migraine or migraine associated vertigo if you prefer, a vision disorder, irritable bowel syndrome and PTSD... they're all tied together.

PTSD which results in anxiety is real, but the other three diagnoses are not all because of anxiety.

I'm trying to choose to focus on the positive - definitely not always easy - but I'm trying. Problem solving when I can, and recognizing and trying to accept what I can't control.

Molly loves to be brushed with this - rubbery bristles on the other side -

Trying to be in the moment - because I know that's really all I can know for sure, or truly possess.

Flowers! 


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February 15, 2020 - "Change the channel" & more



What's "changing the channel"? The idea is simply re-focusing. It's a simple idea that's taken quite a while for me to really "get".


It's about doing something - as simple is getting up if you're lying down, looking out the window, getting a drink of water, thinking about your breathing, or yes doing a different activity - different. It's getting your brain on a different track, into a different groove.
It's about recognizing that thinking about thing "x" AGAIN really isn't going to be helpful.

I'm working on this.


Anxiety demands perfection - if something's perfect, you won't feel anxious right? But the trouble is that perfect is very, very seldom possible - personally, I don't think it ever is. So you end up stuck. So I'm trying to ditch the whole "perfect" business.


Lastly, when I find myself feeling like "wow, is this really my life now?" I'm trying to catch myself and say "you know what, you didn't ask for this right? you didn't ask to get sick, and have all this crap to deal with, but it happened, and you're doing the best you can, right? yeah, you're doing the best you can.
Give yourself the same compassion you give others!"



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