I saw my Developmental
Optometrist, Dr. Margolis, recently for what he calls Progress Reports. He asked a lot of questions, and got a good
sense of what was going on with me. He
is, I should add, a terrific doctor. I
wanted to share a few things that I got out of my consult. Sometimes I think of my progress like a
toddler learning to walk. Stumbling
sometimes, holding on when needed, but every little step matters.
Basic positive gains - Dr.
M. said he thought I handled the actual exam better than in the past, which he
thought was a positive, as do I. I still
needed breaks, but that's OK. He also
said my midline and body mapping were better.
Motivation - I told him
that home therapy can feel tedious, even though I completely understand how
important it is to actually do. We
talked about ideas to help me feel motivated about my home therapy - make it
feel more meaningful. How to integrate
it into my day, and said he'd talk with Ann (my VT) about this.
Positions - Dr. M. and I
talked about doing home therapy lying down - something Joyce (My OT who does
Feldenkrais) has also talked about.
Lying down takes away the compensatory habits of sitting and standing. I don't just mean conscious habits, but rather ingrained, neural muscular habits. Lying down also means I'm not dealing with the element of balance/multi-tasking
required for sitting or standing. I'm
thinking more about this, will talk with Ann and Joyce, and see where I go
with it.
Less is more - Dr. M. briefly
used a yellow filter lens, and noted that it made a difference for a spatial
activity, commenting that because I'm sensitive, even a small amount of
something can make a difference. I also
realized that since a small amount can make a difference, AND allows me to pay
more attention to what's happening, I actually sometimes get more out of doing
less. Obviously building up to doing
more of something is a goal, but I think that part comes naturally.
Goals - he asked me what
my goals were, and I said it was hard to choose, but that I'd go with being
more social, and doing more with my flute.
My initial thought was "how on earth can I choose?". But music and social life continue to be
really, really important to me. There
are other things that I want - i.e. reading - but technology doesn't help with
socializing or music as it does with reading.
So thinking back on what I said, those goals definitely top the
list.
Pacing - Dr. Margolis
reminded me of the basic rule, which is that if I need to recover for a few
minutes, that's acceptable. In fact, I
can expect that any home therapy will require SOME recovery time. He didn't specifically say this, but I think
if I need no recovery time, I'm not challenging myself. However, needing an
extensive - say half an hour or more - recovery time is not good. That means I've pushed too much, and probably
feel lousy. The strange thing is that
for me at least, there isn't sort of in between - it's either "wow, I
really over did it, and now I have to chill for way longer than I want and this
sucks," or after a few minutes, I can move on.
He commented that "if
you change nothing, nothing changes." Simple but true. Once I learn something through VT (or
Feldenkrais - FT - for that matter), I want to stick with it. It's hard to on purpose make myself feel
uncomfortable, given that I still feel disequilibrium every day. Making myself feel that way, or feel dizzy in
order to make progress sucks. But I
understand that I have to tolerate some symptoms. That is, unfortunately, the nature of my
rehab. So I have to make changes,
because having nothing change isn't acceptable.
